Stormzy is all but officially confirmed as the Friday Headliner for next years Glastonbury festival. The response has sent shockwaves through the online Glastonbury community with people on the festival forum eFestivals taking to texting their mum’s to see if they knew Stormzy. The consensus on eFestivals appears to be your mum knows who Stormzy is so he’s probably not cool enough to headline. Others have taken to the comments section and twitter to rant about the audacity of Emily Evais daring to make (probably) such a booking.
What it boils down to is whether or not Stormzy should headline Glastonbury. To work this out we need to understand what makes a Glastonbury headliner. Is Glastonbury just a bunch of white guys playing guitar? The cynical answer would be yes. Since 2010 sixteen of the twenty-one headliners could be classed as a ‘white guy playing guitar’.
We’ve had angry white guys playing guitar, a ginger white guy playing guitar and one group of white guys playing guitar who won’t fuck off. Nevertheless throughout its existence Glastonbury festival has been host to the very best of modern music. Many of the artists that have played Glastonbury have released multiple records to critical acclaim, are considered innovators or icons and many of which have been British. Whilst Stormzy has only released one album (to critical acclaim) he is an innovator and he is British.
Gang Signs and Prayer won the Brit award for best album in 2018. A quick look at who else has won the best album award and you’ll notice many names which have headlined Glastonbury. Lets be realistic if you’re like me you probably don’t give a toss about Brit awards. But hear me out Stormzy has brought what was underground genre of music into the mainstream. He’s going to have a lasting affect on mainstream music and is carving out space for British grime artists in the mainstream. Like it or hate it, grime is about to blow up.
Stormzy headlining is a political move as well. Glastonbury has alwyas been considered left-field. What with Stormzy’s outspoken stance against Theresa May on issue relating to Grenfell Tower and his open support for Jeremy Corbyn. It makes sense for Glastonbury to favour a left-leaning artist.
Although i was dubious when I first heard the rumour. things are becoming more certain now. and although I’d probably rather watch a white guy play guitar i am in favour of him headlining. The stars are aligned on this one and change is a foot. For those of you miserable wankers whinging. Quit your moaning. You’re forgetting what it’s all about. A few days of peace, love and lots of alcohol.
Anyway if you do decide not to go then all the better for me. I still need to get a ticket and your withdrawal could mean one more in the pot for me in the resale.